Secrets Better Left Unsaid
by Emo Akatsuki Addict
Summary: Arin is in love with Danny. But he's happily married to Suzy, and Dan is dating Mark. These secret feelings are tearing him apart inside. During a night of celebrating at the office, Arin sees his chance to finally lay his feelings out on the table and hopefully gain some closure. But things start to snowball and both men do things that they will surely regret the next day…


"Babe, quit, I gotta edit this - "

"Aw, Markimoo doesn't have time for some Sexbang?"

"If you don't get your hands off, you're grounded, Mr. Avidan."

"You guys are so cute you're giving me cavities," Suzy playfully admonishes from her desk, looking over at her husband with a smirk. Arin reluctantly returns it and tries not to stare at the other couple where they're cuddled on the couch, Dan laying facedown across Mark's lap with his arms around the other man's waist as he edits his latest recording.

He feels a wave of jealousy wash over him as he watches Mark lean down to peck Dan on the back of the neck before resting his laptop on his fluffy head. Dan's resulting giggle is full of affection and Arin's heart twinges. He forces himself to turn back to his computer, trying to concentrate on the task at hand, but he can't focus. He can't get Dan's little laugh out of his head; it's the same giggle he hears every day during Grump sessions, but for his lover. Arin can't help but wonder what that giggle would sound like trailing into a breathy moan as he's pressed backward into the couch with Arin straddling his lap -

He stands, somewhat abruptly, and makes a beeline for the bathroom, avoiding looking at the couch and it's snuggling occupants.

"Stupid, so fucking stupid, Hanson…" He whispers after locking the door behind himself, sitting on the toilet and pressing his face into his hands. "This needs to stop, you're married for fucks sake, you love Suzy - "

He honestly did. His wife was his best friend and the love of his life. He couldn't imagine a future without her. But that didn't stop what he felt for his Not-So-Grump. Lately these feelings had gotten worse as Mark and Dan's still-young relationship progressed and they became more physically affectionate around the office. Always kissing or touching in some way…

There's a short rap on the door and the voice of the object of Arin's thoughts calls through the door.

"Hey Arin, try not to destroy the bathroom too bad, people are gonna need it later when the party starts!"

He smooths his bangs back and forces a jovial tone. "Dude, my ass is making no promises. We can put a 'Use at own risk' sign on the door if we gotta."

There's a bubbling laugh. "Aw, fuckin' gross, man," It trails off as Danny presumably walks away from the door. Arin lets out a slow breath. That's right. The party. Ross's birthday. That was a thing that was happening. At least Mark wouldn't be present, he thinks as he flushes the unused toilet and stands. Then he wouldn't have to see them making out on the couch all night…

It's a lively party, to say the least. There's lots of people, music, and alcohol. Arin mingles accordingly, stopping to chat here and there. At one point he stops by the table, heaped with snacks and booze, and reaches for some watermelon in a punchbowl. Then he stops, looking at it more closely. A little notecard sign sits above the bowl, bearing the message 'There's alcohol in me!'.

An idea forms in his head. It's a shitty idea. A horrible idea. But he goes with it anyway. He loads a plate with a pile of slices and heads in search of Dan, stuffing a slice into his own mouth as he goes. It's sweet; not tasting of alcohol at all. But Arin guesses that's the point, so people could get as drunk as possible. Perfect.

Dan looks up as Arin approaches his seat, his eyes brightening when he sees the plate.

"Fuckin' rad, I didn't know there was watermelon!" He says excitedly, grabbing a slice and immediately launching into a story about something. Arin follows along, barely registering Dan's words; thankful that his friend got so wrapped in his own stories he never noticed when somebody wasn't fully listening.

As the night wears on and Dan continues to demolish the plate of alcohol infused fruit, his words became more and more slurred. Arin had eaten another couple slices himself, thinking he would need the courage for this.

Dan stands finally, swaying a bit.

"Dude, 'm fuckin' tired," he mumbles, blinking blearily. "Think I'll go lay down s'mwhere quiet-like…"

Arin gets to his feet, a definite buzz in his brain, and steadies the older man. "Dude, the Grump room's soundproof, we can go chill there."

"Kaaaaaaay," Dan leans against Arin heavily as he leads him from the crowded room, trying not to focus on the tickle of his curly hair where it brushes against his neck. He hopes Danny doesn't pass out; Arin wants him to hear what he has to say.

He pushes the door to the Grump room open and steps in, pushing it shut behind him with his foot as he lowers Dan to the couch. He flops on his back, one long arm dangling to the floor as he giggles up at Arin.

"Man, there's like, three of you all swirlin' around," he grins lazily and Arin's heart speeds up as he sits on the table across from Dan.

"Yeah…" He murmurs, running a hand back through his hair and taking a breath. "Look, Dan, I actually wanted to talk to you about something. Real-talk shit."

"Hmm?"

"I feel like a royal piece of shit for saying this, but I think I'm in love with you."

Dan's mouth opens, but Arin cuts him off.

"I know, you're with Mark, and I'm married to Suzy and I love her, and that's why this fuckin' hurts so bad. I feel wrong, about everything. I've felt like this for so long and I don't know why I never said anything in the beginning before I got married, before you and Mark were together – "

"Yer fuckin' cute, Hanson," Dan slurs and Arin swears his heart stops. "All blushy and cute 'n stuff. Suzy's so lucky; she married such a cutie…"

"Wh-what?" Arin must not be hearing him right. He leans in closer to the other man's face. "Dan, I don't – "

His words are cut off abruptly as Dan's long fingers grab a fistful of Arin's shirt and pull him into a sloppy kiss that tastes like watermelon. Arin's hands fly to his friend's hair, tangling in the brown locks and tugging in a feeble attempt to pull the man's face away from his own. Dan grips his shirt tighter and moans breathlessly into the kiss and Arin's cock twitches in his shorts; he remembers Dan mentioning a while back that he had a thing for getting his hair pulled.

"Danny," he gasps against the older man's mouth, inhibitions starting to slide. "You – "

"Mmm," Dan's tongue slides against his own as he pulls back slightly to look unfocusedly into Arin's eyes. "Shut up an' get over here, dude."

And like that Arin's thought process is gone as he scrambles off the table and onto the couch, pushing one leg between the skinnier man's and pressing it against his crotch as he buries his hands in the wild hair beneath him and yanks backward to expose Dan's throat. Arin showers kisses upon Dan's skin as he pants swear words up at him, his large hands gripping the shoulders of the man above him tightly.

"Fuck – Arin – more, please, mmf…" His hips thrust upwards and his own thigh pushes up into the rapidly growing bulge in Arin's shorts. Arin grunts and bites down semi-hard at the junction between Dan's shoulder and neck, working a bruise into the skin as he grinds his hips down on Dan's leg. They're a mess; groaning and rutting frantically against each other as if they only have moments left to live.

One of Dan's hands slithers down from Arin's shoulder and scrabbles at the front of his pants, struggling to undo his belt. Arin reaches down and bats away the hand, working quickly to wriggle Dan's jeans down as the older man's hand settles for yanking down Arin's basketball shorts, taking his boxers with them and freeing his throbbing erection. Arin gets the jeans open finally and tugs them downward with Dan's underwear, pulling away to look at the man below him.

Dan has never looked more beautiful, breathing raggedly with his head lolled to the side, a dark purple hickey on his long neck and a deep red flush across his angular face. His shirt is rumpled upward and his stomach is exposed, his cock twitching slightly against it. His brown eyes slowly open and look up at Arin almost shyly, desire swimming in their depths.

"A-Arin…" he whispers, his hand cupping the younger man's waist and tugging his hips towards his own. "Want you – nnn…"

Arin aligns their hips and slowly wraps his hand around both of their cocks, sliding his hand along their lengths and relishing the way Dan's eyes roll back in his skull before they flutter shut and his head drops back with a gasp. He places his mouth alongside Dan's ear.

"Yeah, you like this, Daniel?" He growls, nipping the man's lobe sharply as he begins stroking their cocks together. "You like fucking my fist? You're such a dirty boy…"

Dan's long arms wrap around Arin's broad shoulders tightly as he whimpers into the younger man's hair, hips bucking upward into Arin's grip. "Ahhh… Arin…"

Arin sets a quick pace, jerking them off together and focusing on Dan's face as he releases little mewls and whines, his head swimming with the sensation of Dan's hot flesh sliding against his own. His face presses into Dan's hair and he lets out a groan of pleasure as he slides his thumb over their heads, smearing their precum together. He tightens his grip and speeds up, sliding his hand into Dan's curls and tugging firmly.

"Ah..!" Dan lets out a sharp moan; his body was tensing, his thrusts growing erratic. "Arin, I'm gonna – "

His words are cut off as Arin's mouth smothers his own, their groans intermingling. Arin's brain is foggy, his body tense; he's close too, Dan's noises driving him closer and closer to the breaking point. Suddenly Dan's body shudders underneath him, his fingers digging into Arin's shoulders hard and his breath hitching violently.

"Arin, I – ARIN!" He gasps out against the younger man's lips as his hips jerk upwards once, twice, three times, coming hard on Arin's hand and his own stomach. That was it for Arin, the sensation overwhelming him as his abdomen spasms and lights explode behind his eyes. He bites down on Dan's lower lip with a hard moan as he releases, splattering come all over Dan's stomach.

Arin's arms tremble and he slumps forward, removing his hand from their softening cocks and wrapping it around Dan's waist. He gently rolls them both onto their sides facing each other, watching Dan's face as his eyes start fluttering shut. Exhaustion overwhelms him, and he follows his friend into sleep.

"What the fuck… What - What the fuck…"

Arin's eyes slide open and he groans at the dull ache in his temples, squinting towards the source of the voice. Dan is sitting next to his head on the couch, staring down at himself in horror, his stomach and shirt coated in dried come with his pants halfway down his legs.

The events of the night before suddenly crash into Arin's now sober mind and he sits up with a jolt, startling Dan, who whips around to stare at him with panicked eyes.

"Arin what – " He whimpers, pushing his hands into his tangled hair in agitation. "What the shit happened last night? What did we do…"

Arin's standing now, yanking up his shorts and furiously trying to scrape come off his own shirt, his neck burning with shame as he tries weakly to placate the rattled Dan.

"We were drunk, Dan, this isn't that bad. Come on man, it's alright – " He reaches to touch Dan's shoulder, but he jerks away, moving to tuck himself back into his own pants and shaking his head quickly.

"Nononono, man, no, this is not okay, this is the furthest from okay it can get," He sounds on the verge of crying and his hands shake as he does up his belt. "So fucking stupid, what the fuck am I gonna tell Mark. I've got to go home like this…"

Dan's tear filled eyes meet Arin's and he feels his stomach drop, guilt washing over him. He didn't want this. This was awful. All he wanted to do last night was confess his feelings, and he ended up taking advantage of his best friend while getting him drunk. He feels like human trash. He's probably ruined Dan's relationship with this; Dan wasn't the type to lie about something like this so it was inevitable that Mark would find out. Dan's distraught voice cuts into his thoughts again.

"And Suzy, what are you going to tell her?" He buries his face in his hands, a sob creeping into his tone. "This is fucked up. I'm such a fucking slut when I'm drunk, this is all my goddamn fault – "

"No." Arin finds himself saying. Dan looks up, his face damp with tears. "It's my fault. I'm the reason you got drunk. The watermelon last night had alcohol in it and knew that when I gave it to you."

Dan's eyes are full of disbelief. "Arin, why – "

"I didn't mean for this to happen." Arin says honestly. "I – I just wanted to confess my feelings for you." He looks down, unable to hold Dan's watery gaze for any longer. "But then you kissed me and I – I acted like such a fucking asshole. I should have just left you to sober up; fuck, I shouldn't have even gotten you drunk in the first place. This is… You have every right to hate me, Dan. I'm so sorry."

Dan is silent, unmoving. Arin steals a glance up at him. His hair is a tousled mess and there's a dark bruise on his neck peeking out from under the neck of his shirt, which is covered in white stains. He's looking down at his hands, which are clenched into fists in his lap.

"I'll talk to Mark for you, if you want," Arin says softly. Dan flinches, and he continues. "I'll tell him it was all my fault and I came onto you while you were passed out. I don't want this to ruin what you have with him; you don't deserve that –"

"No." Dan says finally, slowly unfolding his hands and getting to his feet. "I'll just make some bullshit excuse and go back to mine and Barry's place for a few days while this heals," he touches the bruise on his neck and winces. "I think there's some spare Grump shirts around the office so I'll wear one out…"

"Dan – "

"Arin, don't," Dan holds up his hand to stop him, his voice weary. "I… I think it's better and less complicated if we both forgot this. Just go home and sleep this all off and go back to normal by the next Grump session. Alright dude?"

Arin's stomach churns and his throat tightens, but he finds himself nodding quietly in agreement. Dan walks silently passed him to the end of the couch where the white fluffy blanket he wraps himself in during recording lays folded, picking it up and draping it around his body to hide the filth on his shirt. He leaves the room without another word, leaving Arin alone.

He sinks to the floor, folding his arms on the couch seat and burying his face in them with a strangled sob, his body shaking. He's pretty sure his heart is breaking; breaking for Dan, for his marriage, for everything. He didn't even know if he could look at his wife after this. She was bound to notice something different between the two men, and it scares him to consider what would happen once she found out. Maybe Dan was right, he thinks to himself, sniffling and wiping away tears, climbing to his feet shakily while peeling off his soiled shirt Maybe if they just blocked this out, went on as normal, they'd be happier. Some secrets were better left unsaid.


End file.
